But Wait! There’s More!

A while back, I crafted an obscenely fabulous burger. But since it had been a while since I wrought such decadence, I felt something similar was in order. To begin with, I had come home with local beef and lamb, and couldn’t decide which I wanted to eat. So I ground some together, adding in a nice fatty heel of duck prosciutto for good measure since the beef was very lean after I trimmed it. I seasoned the grind with garlic, herbs, and finely minced scallions.

But that was only the beginning. See, rummaging around in the freezer trying to make room for the new arrivals I had discovered a hunk of foie gras, so I pulled it out and defrosted it. I formed burgers, then stuffed them each with a silver dollar-sized piece about 1/4″ thick.

Then, because I am crazy, and thus it is the manner in which I roll, I cut some bacon skin into brunoise and gently pressed the top of each burger into the tiny cubes of smoky, fatty, skin. And then I cooked them. Meanwhile, Yukon golds were going in the oven, tossed with oil and herbs, and I toasted some organic and yet totally trashy white bread that the wife brought home due to a dire lack of bunnage (at the store, that is). And I made some more ketchup, though it was completely different from the last time: oyster mushrooms, tomatoes, apple cider, balsamic vinegar, honey, and garlic all cooked until gloppy and then served chunky style, ladled on top of the bloated, oozing Genius Burgers™.

I did also make sautéed pak choi as a vague nod towards health and such, and the mustardy tang of the greens did in fact add something to the mix. I also softened julienned carrots and daikon in some sake and soy sauce:

These were good burgers. And before you get all riled up, flecking your monitors with irate spittle at the excessive use of four animals in five forms just to make a damned burger, let me say that occasional reckless hedonism like this makes life as splendid as it can be. Plus, it’s not like I added the venison in or anything. If we’d had moose, though, I would have, and I would have loved it and squeezed it and named it Sarah.

1 comment to But Wait! There’s More!

Yours Truly



I'm a painter who happens to also spend a lot of time growing, making, and writing about food. I'm particularly interested in the intersection of frugal peasant cooking techniques and haute improvisation. And I have a really great personality.

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