Prozac For Eeyore

I’ve been on a mission to vanquish all the leftovers from Saturday’s party, so I made a plan that would include pretty much everything that remained. Today pretty much sucked; it rained, and I couldn’t get my mind out of second gear all day. I did accomplish a few things- in the kitchen, even- but I also spilled duck fat all over everything, and then yogurt on the floor right before serving the meal. So I was in a pissy mood, and needed something to take the edge off. What does that? Carbs, and melted cheese. Oh yes. There’s a little science for you all, free of charge.

Among the things I accomplished today were the preparation of a big crock of kimchi which should be ready by Thanksgiving, two different sauces from the Japanese Cooking book (Tosa soy sauce and ponzu, which both need to sit overnight, get strained, and then age for a month in a cupboard) and a huge pot of broth made from the rest of the smoked chicken carcasses plus beef and lamb bones that were lurking in the fridge.

So for dinner I made a roux with smoked chicken fat, then stirred in some cheap Chilean sauvgnon blanc and smoked broth until it was silky. Then I grated in the rinds of three cheeses we had left: Manchego, another hard more yellowish one, and a crumbly blue, and added a tease of truffle oil. I steamed and mashed some purple potatoes and reheated the polenta and mushroom soup. Into a pyrex dish went all of the above, smooshed into layers, topped with a little more of the yellowish cheese, and into the oven. While it heated through I heated up the jus from the short ribs to sauce the result.

I’ll be honest: this looked like a smashed ass. A big bowl of wrong. The scallion slivers I strew around the top only highlighted the fail that was this pile of food. Without the armature of noodles to separate the strata, it all just kind of burbled together into a grey-brown goop. So there will be no picture tonight. But the taste, oh, the taste. Deep, funky, hot, meaty, mushroomy, cheesy, and with a double-shot of starches; it was like the hairy bastard love child of lasagna and mashed potatoes with gravy- if they ate shrooms and got down hard and nasty in the mud at some hippie dipshit festival up in the alps somewhere.

Tweet about this on TwitterShare on FacebookGoogle+Pin on Pinterestshare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on LinkedInShare on StumbleUponEmail to someone



  1. The Spiteful Chef
    November 13

    “Hippie dipshit festival in the Alps somewhere”=best.line.ever.

  2. Heather
    November 14

    Oh, how I laugh at the calamity of others. I just can’t help it, because I’m broken on my insides. It’s all your fault, though, for so eloquently summarizing the situation. You asked for it.

    As long as it’s starch and chee in a bowl with a spoon, who gives a shit what it looks like?

  3. We Are Never Full
    November 14

    dude i’ll echo the spiteful chef but also add that “looked likea smashed ass” may almost beat that.

    dude, you’re funny. and my body responds very well to carbs + cheese in a bowl too.

  4. peter
    November 14

    Kristie: Aw, shucks. I guess I can stop writing now.

    Heather: Paging Dr. Schadenfreude… You’re not broken; I offer as proof Mel Brooks’ definition of tragedy vs. comedy: “Tragedy is when I cut my finger, and comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

    Amy: Failure usually makes for funnier posts than success.

  5. Zoomie
    November 14

    Oh those descriptions! Gotta love them – and starch and cheese!

  6. cookiecrumb
    November 14

    Might be prettier cooked in individual ramekins.
    Now I’m supposed to compliment your writing: “A big bowl of wrong.” Hee.

  7. cook eat FRET
    November 14

    i compliment you too damn much
    even i can’t take it…

    ummm, do you own stock in white truffle oil? is it me or do you use it on EVERYTHING???

    i’m about a 3x a weeker, mostly on my eggs and toast in the morning…. but damn boy…

  8. peter
    November 14

    Zoomie: Starch and cheese is kind of a rare delicacy in our house. Next time I’ll be sure to do it better.

    CC: Eating it in the dark would also have helped.

    Claudia: I just love it so.

  9. The Spiteful Chef
    November 14

    OMG, you slut. I just realized that you told me I had to link to your page, and then you don’t even have my blog in your list of links. Ach, for shame.

  10. The Spiteful Chef
    November 14

    I don’t know how to email you. Kristiecia@gmail.

    Oh man, now you’re really gonna get it from my mom. Hehe.

Comments are closed.